#1 – When my children were young I often craved a space just to call my own. I am a very creative person, so I came up with one. I decided to declare my bedroom a sanctuary. My children always knew I was available but when it came to Mom and Dad’s bedroom, it was off limits. The rule was – my bedroom door would never be closed but they were not allowed to enter our room, unless invited! They could see me, they knew they were safe but they also realized that there was a place just for Mom and Dad. It is okay to need a moment of peace and quiet.
#2 – Parents need to unite in their decisions over matters concerning the children. The best way to do this is out of sight of the kids. I would love to say that my husband and I practiced this in our early years of marriage. But if truth be told – we did not. This has become a conviction of ours from doing it incorrectly.
#3 – Do not talk about important issues before bed. We made a rule in our young married life, not to talk about anything important after 8:00 p.m. We found that when we did, my husband was able to go right to sleep, sometimes before the conversation was completed. I was left thinking about it and found myself getting more frustrated as I became more tired.
I often say to my husband “I live in the wrong Era”.
I love 1920 – 1960 time frame, I love wearing vintage clothing, I love antiques, I love old hair styles, I am fascinated with it all.
But reality is, I live in the 21st century and in a world of high technology.
Each Era brings its own unique problems and dilemmas to overcome.
Technology is one of them and how it has changed the way people communicate or as may be the case, how people do not communicate. I am on the computer most of the day, I am not a big fan of television, nor do I live by my phone. My husband works long hours, has to live by his phone because of his work, but he enjoys using it too. He enjoys the sound of television in the background while he is on his computer and having his phone next to him. I would say in the area of technology – we don’t have much in common.
We came up with only one solution so far to give our relationship balance. Tuesday night has become our night of ‘No Technology’, which includes all of the above. We have enjoyed this time. It allows us to use our imagination to fill our time together.
I do not have all the answers for balancing our relationship in the constant pull that technology brings. But it is important to come up with some kind of plan that you both agree upon.