Falling In Love
Previous post
Now reading

Choosing Our Words Wisely

The Heart
Choosing Our Words Wisely


Who are we battling?



Is it our spouse or ourselves?


Years ago I read the book, War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles (Resources for Changing Lives)

What made the greatest impact on me was when I realized I needed to stop and talk to God before continuing in a coversation.

For whatever reason I have struggled with communication. I moved to four different schools during my junior and senior high years.  Each move left me lonely and made it hard for me to communicate with my peers – not to mention starting all over again trying to make friends. I think this left me with a communication problem most of my adult life. When I was given this book – it sat in my closet for a long time. I decided one day it was time to learn something about the importance of words I chose to use in daily communication.

Maybe you might be disagreeing about something with someone. (It is remarkable that we can never remember what it was that we disagreed about after the fact – it must not have been important is the first place).  

After I read the book, I purposely stopped in the middle of a conversations that I would be having with someone to talk to the Lord – in my head. The conversations with the Lord went something like this…


Me – “Lord I am frustrated!”

Holy Spirit – “Why?”

Me – “Because I —–“

H. Spirit – “..and why?”


Usually by the end of the conversation (that last thirty seconds) I would realize that I was wrong because it has been all about “me” instead of others first.

One time, there was a different response to my conversation with the Lord.


Me – ” I am frustrated!”

H. Spirit – “Why?”

Me – “Because I —-“

H. Spirit – “Okay, you are right.”


But before I could smile out of  gratification that I was right, The question was asked of me by the Holy Spirit – “What are you going to do about it?”

To my dismay I had to answer “Forgive them.”


For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1: 5-8

Looking Closer at this verse:

  1. Faith – now add on
  2. goodness, next after goodness is
  3. knowledge, now
  4. self-control, still more, next
  5. perseverance, then add
  6. godliness, then
  7. mutual affection and to that
  8. love

Where are you on this list? Faith is the point of salvation, where goodness begins.  But when you are given knowledge, it must show itself through self-control, that is where it becomes a challenge.  Then after self-control, you will be tested and you will need to persevere, which brings about godliness.  Oh my – then after all that we are able to show love because godliness is shown.

Quite an eye opener – just when I thought I had come so far. Pride gets me in trouble every time.


Written by

Welcome to the place that I refer to as my "Secret Garden". That place is my heart, where I share who I am. Gardener, Landscaper, Card Maker, Nature Lover - are just a few of my loves. My new adventure that I am about to embark on is "Homesteading". I see chickens in my future. But my ultimate love is Encouraging Others with the Love of Christ and I do that by sharing my experiences in hopes that you know you are not alone. The Areas I have had the privilege of serving in: President of Okinawa, Japan International Women's Club, Speaker, Author, Bible Teacher, Personal Mentor.

Welcome to the place I refer to as my 'Secret Garden' that place where the real me is revealed. What you will discover is that I love God, almost everything I do is centered around that relationship. I love helping others to find that relationship as well. I also love Vintage everything, landscaping, gardening, paper crafting and urban homesteading. -Valerie
Giving You a Weekly Challenge!

Bible Alive

Saints of Old