We as parents have good intentions, but intentions can cause discord.
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
There are cases with extreme circumstances - but I will say a good general rule is when your kids get married the parents play a new role in their children's lives. The parent no longer has a voice in the direction that "the two who have become one" go.
This is not an easy position to step into. My Mother is a fix-it personality. When my husband and I purchased a home - as in all homes, we began to see all the defects evident within our purchase. My Mother with all GOOD INTENTIONS stepped right up to the plate. She was ready to call the work people and put the money out to fix the problem. I should have been thankful but I wasn't. Tom and I had not even talked about it yet - no less come to a conclusion.
It is worth repeating, "We as parents have good intentions but good intentions can cause discord."
Our rule for our grown children: We try (noticed I said "try") to give our opinion only when we are asked. On the other side of that coin, our children know because we were asked that we have the freedom to express how we see their circumstances.
Here's the difference - we were asked.
It is no secret that we are seeing an ongoing trend towards the "Live Together"
relationship. If it all works out, they will finalize the relationship with a commitment. "I have no husband," she replied. Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. In fact, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is true." John 4:18-19 Jesus knew that she had been with many men. Even though she considered them
not to be her husband - Jesus did. How do "Two become One"? By consummating a relationship? ( I am not here to say that when high school students make a mistake that they
should continue on as a married couple. But I am here to say that ADULTS who
live together are married and should treat the relationship as such). I want to encourage you, if this represents your life - your commitment to that relationship needs to follow the same guidelines as a marriage, in which you wear a ring. The ring is not the commitment, the ring is a symbol of what is already in the
heart. Wearing no ring does not give a person a way out of a relationship.