Oh the tales we could tell, right?
Over the years I have heard many stories from married couples. From not speaking to one another over a table game, french fries thrown across the room, walking out on one another, pillow fights, to slamming doors.
My favorite story is of a relative. He was young and newly married. One evening this couple got into an argument that ended up with a spaghetti dinner all over the kitchen walls. Since the argument could not be settled, he walked out of the house with the intention of not returning for a while. He jumped in his car and continued on to his parents house in which he would seek shelter from the evening chill. After a gentle knock on the door, his father greeted him. The husband went into his long sobbing story in which his father replied, “This is not your house, you have your own home – go to it.” and shut the door. To his surprise he was left with only a few choices. He could sleep in his car with no comfort (since he did not think about grabbing a pillow or blanket) or he could return home to sleep in his own bed. With a humbling heart he returned home. Upon entering the house, he immediately went into the kitchen where he found his wife trying to clean up the tomato sauce off the walls. He picked up a sponge, walked over to his wife’s side and started cleaning.
To this day he credits his Father for saving his marriage.
Not only does this story help us to realize how pride can effect our relationships but there is another important message here.
The message is to us as parents:
Don’t enable our children to act like children – help them become wise adults.
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, ..” Acts 3:19
“Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” Hebrews 10:17 (We must forget also)
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
(These are funny stories but you might be saying “My situation is much more serious and I am not sure I can offer forgiveness”. We will address ‘Extreme Hurt’ in another post this month.)
I asked my husband Tom if he had any memories of an argument between us. His reply was “Yes”, so I have asked him to tell you his story.
One day we had a heated argument before I went to work. No goodbyes were voiced before I left the house. Our usual daily phone call did not happen. When I returned home, we were not speaking to one another. Just before supper time, we received a phone call and I answered it. It was my sister, calling to wish me a happy birthday. We chatted for several minutes and I hung up the phone. Valerie looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, ” Is today your birthday? . . . I thought it was tomorrow . . . ” So apparently, in her mind it was okay to give me the silent treatment – as long as it wasn’t my birthday ! It has become quite the joke over the many years since.
What has been your experience?
I would love to hear from you. Chat is available on the right hand corner of this page, I am online through out the day.
You can leave a response at the bottom of each post too. Join me tomorrow for another day in the marriage series.